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“This is because you didn’t kill yourself today.”




The fridge was empty. Its empty grate rusted from the sweat of the beer which once waited. Everyday as the dust settled from his boots by the door, he would walk to the fridge. With every step the weight of the day attempted to crush him down to the tile, and everyday he focused on that beer.

Lee Donghae once remembered that he was mad because he couldn’t find the free beer, the only thing that keeping him from ending it all.  The next day he wakes up to see a beer and a note where it usually is. The sweet cheerfully note from the most important person in his world.


Sorry, got carded at the store. They said I look too young to be over 21 so I couldn’t get the beer. If it happens again, I’ll probably leave fruit punch. Anyways, cheers for not killing yourself.



When he woke this morning, he tried not to think of the beer. He tried not to think about the condensation dripping with love. He tried not to think of the note laying beside that token of hope.

He tried not to think of the handwritten text “This is because you didn’t kill yourself today.” He tried not to think, yet the pillow was wet with tears.

In a daze he buttoned his shirt; with numb fingers he tied his tie. With aching heart he shook their hands beside the open grave and refused to look at the filled casket. He didn’t cry then because he was numb.

Now he stood before the empty fridge. He would give everything for a beer, but not for its liquid. Not for the flavor. Not for the relief after a long day. But because it would mean his wife still lived. It would mean someone still cared.

If only Han Cheonsa still here.







feeling so angsty this weekend morning, hope this one can warm/cold you up. 



About IJaggys

Sorry, am I supposed to know who you are?

7 responses »

  1. shfly3424Arista says:

    Q ga ngerti chingu
    Inggrisku pasif

  2. kim_yeon says:

    Jadi maksudnya Cheonsa sudah meninggal huhuhu cedihhhh buangettt
    karna beer jadi Donghae akan masih merasa kehadiran Cheonsa

  3. mokpofish86 says:

    Cheonsa nya meninggal 😭😭😭😭😭
    Aku nggak tau harus komen apa tapi ink nyesek ya Allah mana bacanya malem malem duh bengkak ini mats besok pas bangun 😂😂😂…. Ini tuh singkat banget tapi feelnya itu ngena banget…… Duh hatiku ini mencelos nyelekit nyelekit gimana gituu 😂😭😂😭

  4. Minseokhoon says:

    So saaad😢😢

  5. - says:

    Jan sedih sedih dong kak bentar lagi Donge bebas wamil hehe

  6. fsshy says:

    Cheonsa ninggal ya kak? Apa ninggalin Donghae? Aduh gagal paham aku
    Pagi pagi baca genre kayak gini bikin baper, jdi sedih 😢😢

  7. lilia hamzah says:

    So Han Cheonsa is pass away? Poor of u Hae

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