This is Jane’s Diary
Story Three —Are The Stars Aligned?—
It’s a lot of fun, till one of us dies. And I do mean physical death.
I am reading “The Journey Towards Death”. It’s pretty depressing. It says “The dying process usually begins well before death actually occurs. Death is a personal journey that each individual approaches in their own unique way. Nothing is concrete, nothing is set in stone. There are many paths one can take but all lead to the same destination.”
Mental changes- “The dying person may also experience hallucinations, sometimes seeing or speaking to people that aren’t there. Often times these are people that have already died. Some may see this as the veil being lifted between this life and the next.” (Unless, like the majority of my friends who believe that we are just dust.)
But that’s fine seeing how it is not premature. It actually is comforting. Unlike other more (in recent years) common situations. Meow.
Anyway, Jade Perkinson and I used to sit in the living room- almost every night, eating sun chips asking ourselves if we were actually talented or just extremely deluded- and till this day I am not sure. I told someone at school today that my band “Yeah uhm well, we kinda sound like Muse.” Ha ha ha ha. Clearly I still am.
School has been okay. It is officially my second semester. Jade working on her PHD in Artificial Intelligence is what is keeping me going. She’s the smartest person I know- I do not feel intimidated, at all even though I never thought we would laugh at all the same things.
[Cool Jade as the smartest person I know]
I used to think that she would only enjoy π // 3.14159 jokes (sorry Hamster) and cosmic black hole stuff, but no. We both contribute to Steve Roggenbuck’s trust fund and laugh hysterically at livemylief. I mean- hysterically.
Speaking of MUSE, I have been particularly interested in them lately. More than I ever was. In fact, I did go through a “I can’t appreciate MUSE” phase- which i take back for all those of you who knew me back then. Darker days, darker days.
Now mostly I am only able to write words fueled by an apathetic voice that whispers (quite lifelessly if you could hear it) things in my head.
Don’t get me wrong- I am happy. I am just not the same person who I used to be. It’s like, something died inside of me and I do not know how to get it to work again.
Perhaps it is not meant to work again. Perhaps a new part of me shall form- or is in the process of forming. Am I jaded? Am I dreaming? Life has been good to me lately. Are the stars aligned?
I attended a physics class today. my first physics class since 15. God knows why I have chose this but we touched on the theory of relativity which made me smile and happy to be in that class even though my mind cannot and could never fully grasp the concept of inertia. This is my chance.
[This is me at my first physics class since 15]
Wow I used the word Happy many times in this short post. I must actually be quite/very happy…
It’s getting really warm. This year is moving way too fast. Goodbye.